Learn to consider adversity your friend
For many people, it's much easier to put up with adversity, and even to learn important truths from hard times, than it is to accept love and care and help when it's needed.
At the heart of what we consider unfavorable conditions is the fact of change. However, often the change in question isn't something we ordinarily consider good , pleasant, or even helpful, though for some reason it's necessary that it be experienced.
Any kind of change should alert you to the essentially empty nature of things as they are, that everything in this world is a compound of different factors which are always temporary. It's always a bit of a surprise to see your first gray hair, even if you've expected it.
A few years ago I experienced a bout of gastric reflux. Scott Kellermann ordered some tests at the hospital and after getting the results he gave me the information that I already knew, that my reflux would always be there in the background and I'd have to be careful. Then he added that my esophagus would only be getting wider, and he asked, 'What do you think about that?' I responded with a wry grin, 'Impermanance I have met you!' I've gotten used to not eating too much as a result, which is good for me, anyway.
Thirty-one years ago I got really, really sick, and the changes which resulted were profound. Though I can be somewhat athletic today, then it was questionable if I'd even be able to walk normally ever again. What I discovered, paradoxically, was the secret of how to be happy even when I'm miserable.
Underneath those rather mundane self-discoveries was the necessity of coming to terms with inevitable change. Our country, our world, is always challenged in that area, especially now that most people - including us - have to adjust to change which we're tempted to see as a rise in unfavorable conditions.
But no matter what, every one of us will get sick, get older (if so ordained by God), and die. Almost every person I know who is of a certain age says, 'I don't mind dying... it's just the process I want to avoid.' Our late friend Joan Stubblefield was feeling pretty good a couple of weeks ago. She'd bought season tickets to the Opera, and booked a nice holiday. Then one night she got in bed, went to sleep, and woke up in heaven, as it is said. That's a very rare blessing, rare enough that we regard it as so expectional that it's worthy of note, and envy!
Probably 98% of all of us at Trinity Church will have to learn to live with increasing weakness and frailty before our departure for The World To Come. We'll have to learn to accept help, which for many people - especially men - is commonly regarded as humbling (and some even see it as degrading). But, there's no getting out of it, those things must be faced. But that's not bad, it's good!
A lot of people over the years tell me that they feel useless when they're old, or weak, or bedridden. That's to be expected, since we're taught that it's doing things - giving - that is valuable, not receiving. Receiving love, receiving help, is humbling. It destroys our false notions of independence, and neutralizes the poison of false pride. At that point the inner life becomes a tightrope on which we balance between a false sense of entitlement (which is a particularly destructive form of egotism) and feelings of utter worthlessness.
However, people who need love and care are immensely valuable! They have a terribly important ministry that no one else can do!
In my day-to-day life people often treat me with a degree of kindness and respect which I do not feel myself entitled to receive. It's embarassing and humbling to a degree which most people can't imagine. Here's a story which illustrates how I see myself:
In the Middle Ages there once was an old woman who was very devout. Her son would go to the big city once a year to buy things for their village. Before he left one autumn she asked him to get her a relic of a saint to put on her simple altar at home.
So, her son went to the city nad sold his crops, bought a few things, and rode home. As he approached his village he saw his mother's house and suddenly remembered her request. Horrifed, the son wondered what to do. He stopped his horse to think for a minute, his head hanging down in dejection, and noticed a dog's skull by the side of the road.
Jumping down from his horse, he pulled a back tooth from the skull. Then, he wrapped it in a nice piece of cloth, put it in a little gilded box, and triumphantly gave it to his beloved mother, telling her it was a tooth of the Holy Apostle Barnabas!
His mom joyfully took it into her house and used it as something to focus on during her prayers. Her friends came over and prayed with extra fervor in front of the important Christian relic. Pretty soon all the cows and sheep in the village started giving birth to twins, people were healed of their illnesses, and the faith of all the villagers rose tremendously. In thanksgiving they built a big new church for their village which everyone joyfully attended. So that's the origin of the saying, 'If you have enough faith, even a dog's tooth will do miracles.'
When you are sick, or weak, or in need of help, and you let your brothers and sisters in Christ minister to you, you are giving them a very rare and powerful gift. Your giving them the chance to practice the Christian virtues!
Throughout the Bible, God declares it a major, major Command (not a recommendation or bit of advice!) that we should visit the sick, assist widows and orphans, and help those in need. Jesus said in Matthew 25,
"When the Son of Man comes in his glory, and all the angels with him, he will sit on his throne in heavenly glory. All the nations will be gathered before him, and he will separate the people one from another as a shepherd separates the sheep from the goats. He will put the sheep on his right and the goats on his left.
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